Saturday, October 24, 2020

Friday, October 23, 2020

 Deferential, glad to be of use,

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Merlin's tomb, and Baba Yaga's house next


the sun has entered scorpio

this entire year has been a distillation process, think about it. 

we've been so limited in where we can go and who we can see, that it truly showed us who and what was most important to our wellbeing. 

and who did we release? because under such collective pressure, these things only added to our stress, they made things worse in such dark times. so they had to go. 

i think it's interesting that the 20th card in the major arcana is Judgement, don't you?


let me talk to you in tarot terms for a moment, if that's alright. last night i reached my 10 of swords. 

 but that is a good thing, because it's the end of the line, 10's are completion. 

9 of swords is this battle weary soldier, who's standing there worse for the wear, but still standing and willing to fight. i was in that for some time. 

so the 10 is good. it's when you finally admit defeat and fall down. i finally had enough, and i may be figuratively lying here quite broken up but eventually i will get up. i just...need to lie down for a bit, yaknow? with my woes. 

truth be told i really don't understand anything anymore, and i'm tired of trying to figure it out. just gonna hobble into 2021 with my sad little lonely heart.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

 i just learned that there was a greek goddess of needlework and sewing, her name was Rhapso. 

Athena was the goddess of crafts.

Monday, October 19, 2020

 maybe cuffing season is just the human's natural mating season.

almost scorpio season, which i quite enjoy as i have a few astrological placements in scorpio(ahem mars ahem sex), but fair warning it's the time of year *most* that our deepest darkest bits are pushed forward into the light. 

so any repressed emotions, desires, aggressions, are all pulled to the forefront. 

there is a reason scorpio is represented by the Death card in tarot. it's about transformation. 

get off your knees do not go quietly into that night, make this time your bitch. USE IT. 

and go get some dick and/or tang i dunno whatever you're into. double points if you have a fireplace. but be safe and kind, too many broken souls out here, don't inflict damage. responsible romance yaknow?

Sunday, October 18, 2020

 ugh. i love this anthropologie shelf too much. i just can't justify spending $350 on a friggin shelf...

it sure is a lovely shelf, though...

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Friday, October 16, 2020

 an update for the curious concerning my hacked instagram art account

it was restored!!!! 

they managed to delete over a thousand of my posts, but instagram might be able to restore them so fingers crossed! 

i also did all of the extra verification options in the security tab in settings, and i suggest you do the same!

i can always add posts, i save everything on an external hard drive that's not a problem, the main thing i was worried about was rebuilding my reputation and following, so needless to say i'm extremely happy and thankful this morning. 

such relief and gratitude y'all have no idea, total tenderoni over here.

Wednesday, October 14, 2020


while i wait for news about my hacked instagram, i've decided to work on an embroidery i keep putting aside(there are several large ones i've worked on for months). i was preparing for a halloween sale, but now i'm not sure where to even put the announcement. instagram was where my followers could find all the up to date info on what i'm doing, i feel like my hands are cut off. 

all night long i had these dreams, where i'd be trying to tell someone who i am but then i wouldn't have my identification, or my business cards, and the truth is that my embroidery is the one thing that i'm happy with in my life. let's be honest, i don't have much going on. i spend most of my time taking care of others, but there's very little joy in my life. not to sound all sad and shit, but i always cheered myself up in hard times by thinking, well i still have my embroidery. 

it's still there, but there's nowhere to share it right now. it's like singing in an empty field. and naturally i'm worried about money. as if the last two years haven't been hard enough on the coffers!(for those that don't know, the previous year i had multiple emergency surgeries and a freak blood vessel burst and i almost died, and i didn't have health insurance then so all of my savings were depleted, not to mention i couldn't work for much of that time. this year was supposed to be the rebuild, only well, you know how it went...and continues to go)

sometimes i feel like perhaps someone cursed me, i seem to keep attracting horrible luck, despite my best efforts! 

so i've fallen into a bit of a depression at the moment. i'm in limbo, there's nothing i can do for the time being, and i think that's the worst part. i hate waiting, if there's a problem i want to fix it and fix it quick. can't even start over yet until i know for sure the old one is irretrievable. my friend put me in touch with someone on the inside who's helping me, and i'm very grateful. so now i wait.

gonna deal with this the best way i know how, embroidery. i may just go ahead and add stuff to the shop, and if you've ever had trouble getting one before they're sold out, this might just be your month to snag one ha

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

so i'm posting this everywhere, but my art instagram @alainavarrone was hacked tonight and they changed my username and contact email so i can't even go in and change my password etc, or dispute the logins they warned me about in multiple emails.

i don't know what to do, i've sent multiple emails and my friend also put me in contact with someone who's gonna see what he can do in the morning. 

i don't know if it's retrievable, or if there's even anything to retrieve at this point. i'm so angry and sad. 

i had 29.2k followers and yet i'm still small potatoes compared to other accounts so why target me? it doesn't make sense. 

Monday, October 12, 2020

Sunday, October 11, 2020

a very relaxing sunday in autumn. i made vegetable soup. 

i got a selenite lamp a few weeks ago. it shines bright like a snowy mountain, this photo doesn't do it justice. 

tiny leaf on my tiny apple

i tried to do a pinterest thing haha

Friday, October 9, 2020

 in the tea hierarchy, sleepytime beartime tea is god-tier. 

i miss the old box with the sleepy bear babies in it too. 

man that's the dream right there eh? nice little warm house, cute babies, big ol bear chillin after a long day in front of the fire, tea and biscuits and jam and a lazy cat. they even have little packs of herbs hanging to dry. adorable. 

i need to stitch sleepytime bear.

insert The Room gif "I fed up wit dis world!"

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

i accidentally took the non-drowsy cough syrup before bed and i am wide awake.