Thursday, October 29, 2020

just wanna tear off this dumb flesh suit

i made soul cakes, they were very very very delicious, like a muffin/cookie hybrid with cinnamon and ginger and nutmeg and apples and nuts. just talking about them makes me wanna go grab another!
i might have to buy a new baking powder, as you can see mine did not rise up like the ones in the magazine.

 i like how the inks are working for the backgrounds so far.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Friday, October 23, 2020

 Deferential, glad to be of use,

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Monday, October 19, 2020

 maybe cuffing season is just the human's natural mating season.

Sunday, October 18, 2020

 ugh. i love this anthropologie shelf too much. i just can't justify spending $350 on a friggin shelf...

it sure is a lovely shelf, though...

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Friday, October 16, 2020

 an update for the curious concerning my hacked instagram art account

it was restored!!!! 

they managed to delete over a thousand of my posts, but instagram might be able to restore them so fingers crossed! 

i also did all of the extra verification options in the security tab in settings, and i suggest you do the same!

i can always add posts, i save everything on an external hard drive that's not a problem, the main thing i was worried about was rebuilding my reputation and following, so needless to say i'm extremely happy and thankful this morning. 

such relief and gratitude y'all have no idea, total tenderoni over here.

Wednesday, October 14, 2020


while i wait for news about my hacked instagram, i've decided to work on an embroidery i keep putting aside(there are several large ones i've worked on for months). i was preparing for a halloween sale, but now i'm not sure where to even put the announcement. instagram was where my followers could find all the up to date info on what i'm doing, i feel like my hands are cut off. 

all night long i had these dreams, where i'd be trying to tell someone who i am but then i wouldn't have my identification, or my business cards, and the truth is that my embroidery is the one thing that i'm happy with in my life. let's be honest, i don't have much going on. i spend most of my time taking care of others, but there's very little joy in my life. not to sound all sad and shit, but i always cheered myself up in hard times by thinking, well i still have my embroidery. 

it's still there, but there's nowhere to share it right now. it's like singing in an empty field. and naturally i'm worried about money. as if the last two years haven't been hard enough on the coffers!(for those that don't know, the previous year i had multiple emergency surgeries and a freak blood vessel burst and i almost died, and i didn't have health insurance then so all of my savings were depleted, not to mention i couldn't work for much of that time. this year was supposed to be the rebuild, only well, you know how it went...and continues to go)

sometimes i feel like perhaps someone cursed me, i seem to keep attracting horrible luck, despite my best efforts! 

so i've fallen into a bit of a depression at the moment. i'm in limbo, there's nothing i can do for the time being, and i think that's the worst part. i hate waiting, if there's a problem i want to fix it and fix it quick. can't even start over yet until i know for sure the old one is irretrievable. my friend put me in touch with someone on the inside who's helping me, and i'm very grateful. so now i wait.

gonna deal with this the best way i know how, embroidery. i may just go ahead and add stuff to the shop, and if you've ever had trouble getting one before they're sold out, this might just be your month to snag one ha

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

so i'm posting this everywhere, but my art instagram @alainavarrone was hacked tonight and they changed my username and contact email so i can't even go in and change my password etc, or dispute the logins they warned me about in multiple emails.

i don't know what to do, i've sent multiple emails and my friend also put me in contact with someone who's gonna see what he can do in the morning. 

i don't know if it's retrievable, or if there's even anything to retrieve at this point. i'm so angry and sad. 

i had 29.2k followers and yet i'm still small potatoes compared to other accounts so why target me? it doesn't make sense. 

Monday, October 12, 2020

Sunday, October 11, 2020

a very relaxing sunday in autumn. i made vegetable soup. 

i got a selenite lamp a few weeks ago. it shines bright like a snowy mountain, this photo doesn't do it justice. 

tiny leaf on my tiny apple

i tried to do a pinterest thing haha