Wednesday, October 14, 2020


while i wait for news about my hacked instagram, i've decided to work on an embroidery i keep putting aside(there are several large ones i've worked on for months). i was preparing for a halloween sale, but now i'm not sure where to even put the announcement. instagram was where my followers could find all the up to date info on what i'm doing, i feel like my hands are cut off. 

all night long i had these dreams, where i'd be trying to tell someone who i am but then i wouldn't have my identification, or my business cards, and the truth is that my embroidery is the one thing that i'm happy with in my life. let's be honest, i don't have much going on. i spend most of my time taking care of others, but there's very little joy in my life. not to sound all sad and shit, but i always cheered myself up in hard times by thinking, well i still have my embroidery. 

it's still there, but there's nowhere to share it right now. it's like singing in an empty field. and naturally i'm worried about money. as if the last two years haven't been hard enough on the coffers!(for those that don't know, the previous year i had multiple emergency surgeries and a freak blood vessel burst and i almost died, and i didn't have health insurance then so all of my savings were depleted, not to mention i couldn't work for much of that time. this year was supposed to be the rebuild, only well, you know how it went...and continues to go)

sometimes i feel like perhaps someone cursed me, i seem to keep attracting horrible luck, despite my best efforts! 

so i've fallen into a bit of a depression at the moment. i'm in limbo, there's nothing i can do for the time being, and i think that's the worst part. i hate waiting, if there's a problem i want to fix it and fix it quick. can't even start over yet until i know for sure the old one is irretrievable. my friend put me in touch with someone on the inside who's helping me, and i'm very grateful. so now i wait.

gonna deal with this the best way i know how, embroidery. i may just go ahead and add stuff to the shop, and if you've ever had trouble getting one before they're sold out, this might just be your month to snag one ha